Sunday, April 18, 2010

Keeping the spark alive!

How to do little things to keep that spark alive

It is definitely important to keep the romance going in relationships no matter how long it has been. Otherwise, it'll just die off. We often forget lessons learnt and like to take things for granted. Perhaps it is just plain laziness to make effort to do something for each other. It can be something very simple. Maybe like helping to wash the dishes after eating. If your partner can painstakingly prepare everything by themselves, why can't you help to do a little something? A thank you would be deeply appreciated too.

I once read from a book that a husband put his wife on his 'to do' list everyday. Because he wanted to make the relationship last. Not like the previous marriage where he took everything for granted. If we truly care for that person, we got to show it. What is a few minutes of our time for something so important in our lives ?

Below are some ways to keep the flame going:

1. Be grateful.

Remembering to thank your partner seems simple, but gratitude may provide the everyday dose of spackle that keeps you glued together over the long haul. Gratitude helps remind us of the good qualities in our partners.Gratitude creates positive emotion into the relationship.

2. Bring on good news.

We expect our partners to provide us with a shoulder to cry on when times are tough—but how couples behave during good times might be even more important. Partners who respond enthusiastically to each other's successes—asking questions, paying compliments, and cheering each other on. It is very nice to share with each other your accomplishment. Happiness is doubled when shared.

3. Notice what's new about your partner.

Letting your partner surprise you is vital to sustaining excitement in your relationship. But in order to be surprised, you first have to pay attention.The problem is that most of us get so familiar with our partners, we stop really noticing them. "But the fact that you stopped looking doesn't mean they've stopped changing," says Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer. But personally i feel the reason is we've become too comfortable that we can't be bothered.

4. Work it

The best way to keep your relationship strong is to work at it. You can’t be a lazy partner! You have to give as much as you take. Show him that you still care after months…or years…of being together by noticing the little things.

5. Be willing to try something new. It may be trying out a new sport together.

6. Give yourselves permission to be spontaneous and playful.

7. Recognize when your spouse is having a tough day and give him/her time alone. However do provide support when needed.

8. Commit to love each other for a lifetime and practice forgiveness as often as necessary.

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